i did the test
im content
which is pretty much me
because i dont hate change but its not something that i love either and im just like ya whatever when it comes to life because i just try and be happy with where i am
i dont know maybe my contentness is really just the symbolism of my confusion because i have no idea whats going on with life...my position with life right now is.. "huh..whats goin on??" hahaha i make no sense..but i am content with that :P

Ever have the feeling like ur waiting fer something?? but u dont know what?? cuz i have that... i feel like there's something missing or just something that needs to show up in my life...i dont know what..but i hope it comes sometime soon... im tired of everything being so boring...everything being the same...and so..predictable.. im tired of being me...same old me..hey look theres tracey...same as always...hey whats new tracey? "oh same ol' same ol'" im tired of only being able to give that for an answer.... im tired of the seeing change happening to my friends (when its bad change)...does anything ever change for the good of it all.. or is it always one of those "lesson giving" experiences...maybe im just bitter...but if i am im not sure what i would be bitter about...feelings=confusion too often... but reading this update over i see the reoccuring word "tired"...maybe i am tired...maybe i just need to get more sleep..maybe i need to change...my sleeping patterns.. prally not..and i doubt i will... i cant help but stay up late...maybe its my way of "waiting" haha...back to the waiting....i bet im the only person who understands all this...i dont make much sense of it....but hey thats me eh... crazy no sense making tracey...maybe that should change... i dunno something needs to....normally i loathe change but lately im just calling for it hoping maybe sometime a good one will come my way..oh well maybe someday...and on that day...i'll post an update :)
LUV YAS...aww see thats the same too..k
PEACE IM OUT (yaaa <---different)

sooo bored...sunday night..sitting at home..at my computer, with nothing much to say....my nephews home now, sooo cute...Talking to jace..and thats it..that shows how bored i am...talking to jace, and only jace.. pretty bad eh!! hahaha im just joking :P jace is always fun to talk to..and dont worry jace ur dream of drooling every where and wearing diapers could come true some day...just keep hope alive...haha
theres more people to talk to now...infact too many...its taken forever to do this update cuz its constant chatting... still feeling regretful...still not quite positive why... oh well...and since my scanner is back up im posting another pic i drew in my sketch book, its not finished but im not sure if im gonna finish it so i figured might as well scan it now.. still bored...still taking forever to fill this update out cuz theres really not much to say and barely any time to say it...jace stinks but he denies it...so i hope everyone had a more interesting night than me... i guess its a slow night to end a good weekend though..ah well..i make no sense
LUV YAS

i feel like talking today... but theres no one on here to talk to right now so i thought i'd talk to my update page :) so anyways, i actually had a great weekend. normally its soo boring around here but this weekend was fun. and im hatin it that its sunday cuz school is the worst. do u ever have a feeling of regret though...like u know that theres something missing or something u shoulda did, but u cant put ur finger on it even though ur feeling of regret is soo strong....i have that feeling right now, i kinda feel like i might know what its about though but i dunno....i guess we'll see how i feel tomorrow...i'll most likely be tired... anyways last night was my friend mattys 19 birthday so we went out and partied it up, it was great times....lots of weirdness but tons of fun
but anyways, im boring myself to death so im gonna jet and post this picture of Breslin, katie and me....
oh ya! AND U KNOW WHY IM POSTING THIS PICTURE????? CUZ MY SCANNER IS HOOKED BACK UP!!!!! yaaaa PICTURES
LUV YAS

Hi aunt laurie i know im a day late but happy birthday!!!
Yesterday was my aunt laurie's birthday, she lives in Calgary so i dont get to see her very often. shes cool though..she sends me funny emails...some make me blush.. hahaha ;) im jj aunt laurie. but i hope u had a good one lady... mines comin up soon the big 18. whohhoooooo...
my aunt turned 25 yesterday.... :) (she'll like that ahah)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNT LAURIE I POSTED SOME CAKE FOR U TOO!!

This song explains alot of how im feeling lately..not the suicide part though just the hollowness, and falling away from friends and the life i used to lead... my self esteem is no bigger than the eye of a needle right now... this song is very theraputic when listening to it loud and screaming the words... just like many of they're songs though that deal with abuse or any other factor in life that can make u feel dark...


Hey, I'm feeling tired
My time, is gone today
You flew with suicide
Sometimes, that's ok
Hear what others say
I'm here, standing hollow
Falling away from me
Falling away from me

Day, is here fading
That's when, I would say
I flew with suicide
Sometimes kill the pain
I can always say
'It's gonna be better tomorrow'
Falling away from me
Falling away from me

Beating me down
Beating me, beating me
Down, down
Into the ground
Screaming so sad
Beating me, beating me
Down, down
Into the ground

(falling away from me)
It's spinning round and round
(falling away from me)
It's lost and can't be found
(falling away from me)
It's spinning round and round
(falling away from me)
Slow it down

Beating me down
Beating me, beating me
Down, down
Into the ground
Screaming so sad
Beating me, beating me
Down, down
Into the ground

Pressing me, they won't go away
So I pray, go away

Its falling away from me

Fuck

Beating me down
Beating me, beating me
Down, down
Into the ground
Screaming so sad
Beating me, beating me
Down, down
Into the ground

Im so bored and i've been wanting to post an update so bad lately but i love putting some of my drawings or pics of friends up..but sadly, my parents decided to redecorate the room the computer is normally in so the computer was moved and the scanner has not been hooked back up yet...so i was fooling around on my oldskool very crappy painting program and i made a cartoon kinda based on me..its a pic of me in my normal fave sweater with my hands in my pouch, its brutal but i had fun making it so thats what counts!i havent been having the best days lately, someone kinda told me today that i wasnt serious enough about my future so maybe i should look into getting a full time job at the place im currently employed in so that maybe someday i'll work my way up in there...and this was someone who plays a major role in my life...soo i guess that didnt crush all my dreams..some people may enjoy it but my lifes ambition is not to become a large part of the food chain industry... i would much rather do something I love but im really starting to doubt that im capable of that now... many things have been crushed for me recently though...i should be used to it by now, but its never really something i want to welcome...ahh...adolescence, somehow it seems too coincidentle that it starts with an "A", just like "annoyance" or "aggrivation"... when life gives u prunes..do u make prune juice??? because life is not throwing me lemons right now, its throwin me nothin that can come close to producing something as sweet as lemonade... whenever something good comes my way it seems to shrink and desinegrate (cant spell that at all) on my first touch...i dont know...i should read my horoscope for next month though... maybe things'll look up :P well im so bored and tired..and i hope everyones feelin better than me right now...im gonna go listen to some cake :)
LUV YAS